E Is Still a Friend

8 Oct

Whether to remain friends after a breakup is always a complication scenario- actually, that’s not true- somethings aren’t complicated at all, depending on the temperament of the individual and the circumstances of the break up.  If it’s one of those “I can’t stand the sight of his face” situations, then, not so complex.

I’m not talking about the kind of friendship where the only purpose is to have someone to sleep with every once in a while, I’m talking about an actual friend, skins or no skins.

I have such a friend- E.  We dated for over three years.  At first it was really nothing serious, he’s almost 4 years younger than me and that was significant enough.  Something we never planned on going to the next level- went to the next level and in less than a year we were in love with each other.  IT must be said, he’s hung like a stallion, and we had the. best. sex. ever.

As far as ex-boyfriends are concerned, E has the highest stock in my eyes.  He’s simply a tremendously wonderful man.

I credit E with, among other things, awakening my sense of humor.  He always knows how to make me laugh.  Sometimes we women think we don’t want that in a man, but sometimes it’s exactly what we need- to lighten the fuck up.  He injected that into my life and into my personality.

E is genuinely a good person- ladies, you know what I mean.  Well paying job, loves his mama, involved in his community on a real level, thoughtful, etc.  Not perfect, but good, no doubt.  One of my favorite people.

We went through some profound life lessons together and he is one of a handful of people that knows the realest me.

Our break up wasn’t a walk in the park, to be sure, but all things considering, it was okay.  It hurt, a lot, but still.  It was one of the very first relationships that was an adult relationship, because it wasn’t black or white, love or hate- it was all of that and everything in between.

I’d define E as an eligible bachelor; young black man, gainfully employed, forward thinking, handsome- he has everything going for him.  Very popular with the ladies; they’d line up to be on his arm, which he loves, being a *ahem* healthy young man.

Not only do I know that E is my friend for all the personal reasons, and our history, but because he doesn’t try and hide the fact that we’re friends.  Ever.  Again, ladies (and gents) you know what I mean.  You think you’re friends with a guy, but he’ll only take your call at certain times, and won’t kick it with you in public.  Not E.  Even if it means the PYT he’s with throws a fit- which has happened.  We bumped into each other out and about, and he introduced me to his young lady friend- she responded with a smack of the mouth and an eye roll, and E quickly sent her on her way.

E introduces me to his girlfriends.  Some weren’t sure how to react and some found it refreshing that he was upfront about having a close female friend who he talks to regularly and hangs out with.

I’m the only ex girlfriend that still gets invited to his mother’s house- I”m the only ex girlfriend his mother still likes, lol.

If he needs to talk, I’m there.  If I need a shoulder to cry on, all I have to do is call.  About twice a month I’ll get a text that looks something like “thinking about you, hope you have a good day,” and, “remember when…”, or “you won’t believe wtf…”

I love him.

He loves me.

He has and would walk through fear for me, which, ultimately, is one of the hardest things a person ever experiences.


One Response to “E Is Still a Friend”

  1. Saishia October 9, 2009 at 1:20 am #

    What you both share is so pure & sublime! 🙂

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