Olivia Courting’s Guide To Better Sex: Say it Loud

6 Oct

Nothing will take a sexual experience from mundane to steamy like talking dirty in bed.  Except a blow job.  Or eating a woman’s pussy.  Or the reverse cowgirl.  Or when she grabs her ankles.

*shakes head*

Besides all of those, verbal expressions of desire, pleasure and satisfaction are, in a word, awesome.

Sex talk in bed is also practical.

Think about it.  As an employee, if you get positive feedback on a project you’re working on, you feel great.  Not only do you feel great, but you know what direction to go for success.

Sex is work.  Your job is to make the other person beg for mercy experience physical pleasure.  But if there is no feedback, really, how is that supposed to happen?  Grunts and gasps can be misinterpreted.

What your partner needs is to hear your words.

You have to be careful though; one can’t just say anything while in bed.

For example, while we’re here, I’d urge men to stay away from calling a woman a bitch while you’re doing the damn thing.  It’s a volatile word, to be modest.  You want to make your girl feel sexy and desirable, not bad- at least, not that kind of bad.

The goal of sex talk is two fold:

1. You want to seduce your partner’s senses with more than the physical- we want a multi-sensory experience for optimal pleasure; touching, being touched, tasting and hearing.

2. Verbal feedback (“oh god, yes, right there!”) helps your partner know they’re on the right track, and hopefully they keep up the good work.

Suggested Guidelines:

As mentioned above, some things said in bed won’t help the situation.  Some women recoil at the B-word, others go crazy.

Profanity often flies during sex.  For some people it’s a turn off.  For others, phrases like “fuck me” and “oh gotdamn right there” are arousing.  Don’t be afraid to talk about it with your partner, explore what the other likes.

First names.  I know very few people who don’t like to hear their sex partner say their name; whether in a breathy whisper, a gasp or a shout (heyyy!) using your partner’s name- as long as it’s their name -can be just what the doctor ordered.

If she says daddy- she’s not talking about the man that would drag you outside nekkid and whip your ass if he caught you up in his daughter, she’s talking about you and that in the moment, what’s hers is now yours.  You’re the man, you’re in control, do with it what you will.  *fans self*  But like some women don’t want to hear the B-word, some men don’t want to hear the D-word either.  Try calling him “papi” instead.

There’s something about that word. *shiver*



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